Conclusions- reasoning with your child quoting scientific cause and
effects and blending it with the art of conversations will enhance your child’s
creativity and help it optimize and provide definitive or desired direction to
a child’s intellectual development, (up to the age of 15). 
Problem-Vested demands posed by
kids, inability to oblige by parents owing unique situations or issues
impending or otherwise
Participants- parent and the child
Findings- media and technology and
its influence on need
Preface
Last time I met a 10 year old was when I was a ten
year old myself, in class four. Having little idea as in what children in the
above mentioned group may ‘need’ today I explored a little about what children
could need today.
The mentioned age is group is called the ‘sweet
spot’ because his/her ‘personality’ is shaping up at a furious speed. They
develop independence and self-confidence. It comes from words and the skill to
define the words and use when needed. During this period a child starts
acquiring vocabulary and new skills, starts learning languages and
communicates. Children at this age group under-go a qualitative process of
being independent and explore the everyday new world and believing in what they
are and can do. They interact with class mates and also learn how their friends
are living and hence forth.
Hence DEMAND (read below)
- Want to watch an extra Ad-Free TV series
- Debating on dinner tables
- A trip to the loo
- Length of a play
- The soap they wish to use during a bath
- Messy handwriting and demands a particular pen/pencil
- He/she will use their hands to eat-to defy and order
- Will not swim on his own-afraid and raise tantrums
- How many books to read
- Types of songs to be sung during the bedtime
- Demands of a smart phone with internet ability
- Don’t know why but music celebrity or local teenager is cool, no
mater what they do and say.
- Don’t mind getting drunk or using drugs, unsafe sex or just
curious about things around
UNICEF has laid down four simple rules to keep in
mind while communicate with kids, that it SHOULD
- Be age-appropriate and child-friendly
- Address the child holistically
- Be positive and strengths-based
- Address the needs of all, including those who
are most disadvantaged
‘REST
(reasons) BEST KNOWN TO THE BEST’
Process=behavior=substance
A constructive dialogue between a parent and a child
(7-10) requires a certain process
then the behavior associated and
ultimately the substance (on which
the conflict of interest rests). The ultimate aim or objective is to drive the
conversations (two parties) towards ‘compromise’.
7-10 Year Olds
Are Special Kids- they say, you say?
This goes without saying that your ‘intent’ is and
will be your child’s well-being and negotiations is conducted in good faith.
I coudn't agree more to what Blogger Laverne H.
Bardy's father believes, "children are to be seen and not heard.' According
to Linda Silverman, Ph.D, 35% of the parents have recognized that their child
is gifted between ages three and five. The author Alina points, "Negotiating
is important for all kids in an age appropriate way and if you offer your
children choices, they're going to inevitably make some mistakes they'll later
regret,"
#ChildFirst-Education and Cost
I tried to find the ‘need’ that brings parents today
before a ‘negotiating’ table! Negotiation is a process where each party
involved in negotiating tries to gain an advantage for themselves by the end of
the process.
Parenting is a 24 hour-high priority job and the
task can be extremely daunting, demanding and drained. I am asked to write
about is Negotiation between 8-10 years olds with their parents per sé and
vice-versa. Without demand there will
be no negotiation, I believe. The much needed dialogue between the two parties
(child and you), is intended to get in an understanding of sorts and resolve
various point/s of difference. Friends, good education is not cheap and comes
at a price, as per a website, an average cost to raise a child from birth (in
the United States) up to the age of 18 is $2,50,000 USD. The report says that
although the money looks ‘unimaginable’ and just too much, you should not be
surprised that you may actually end up spending spend $22,000 per year if you
have two children (@$11,000 per child). One must add $10,000 for tuitions etc.
In India
Till now, most of you have spent half of what has
been estimated because costs of raising a child (the first 11-12 years are
likely to be expensive since the raising up involves daycare expenses, special
needs, tuitions, outdoor activities, personality development etc).Negotiating a
demand with your child in the current economic scenario can be taxing, especially if the demand leaves
your monthly budget stretched.
Negotiating
the Thin Rules
Setting out rules for the kids can be easy and hard
both. Easy because kids love rules and consistency at this age, even later,
tough because the need to rebel sprouts once in a while at this tender age.
Children in the middle years do what they see and
hear in their respective homes. The overall behavior and attitude including
world views vary from one sex to another. Owing internet and neo education,
children must have learnt 14,000 words or more before high school. During the
pre ebook reader years, a child learnt nine words a day, hence putting parents
into demanding situation is not new.
Typically girls mature faster than boys and move
into into an adolescence period. They undergo dramatic emotional and physical changes.
Kids are in full energy and their minds and body develop in full throttle. New
forms of media like cell phones, internet, TV and pager is helping your child
read, play, listen, absorb and express more and some say bolstering the
learning hence maturity of the young minds. We should use simple language and
lovingly tones to imbibe a sense of inquiry and a genuine desire to learn
things.
Your kid is learning new things so he may need
guidance to a safe exploration mode. One should be able to grab the kid’s
attention span. While negotiating it is a good idea to
Use drama, stories,
rhythm, song and even dance habits to bring them to a decision. Healthy
self-care habits are a good move to lay down certain rules to begin with. Offer
them easy choices and the right to express their creative opinions in a decent
manner.
Middle school kids now learning new sports, take up swimming
classes, learning the first bike, going hiking, or merely taking a ‘solo’ walk helps
them uncover daily challenges, leading to a sense of individuality. The new found demand may be an extension of
his growing self.
Conclusion
There should be a scientific source with crafted
communication every time you deal with your kid to negotiate. One should
remember that the child today is living in a media rich environment and exposed
to magazines, radio, books, television, computers, internet, music-players and
mobile phones etc.
Kids are living in as popularly said the “screen
culture”. It’s not dominating their lives and hence the demand. A child may or
may not know what’s best for him/her, so you will guide them in a proper and
apt manner while negotiating.
I have written this document and all of it is my interpretation and personal in nature. No one paid me to write this.
Pic source-http://raisingchildren.net.au
Sources
http://www.wisegeek.org/how-much-does-it-cost-to-raise-a-child-in-the-united-states.htm#slideshow
3. www.boardofstudies.nsw.edu.au/parents
4. http://publisher.medfak.ni.ac.rs/2010-html/4-broj/36-38%20Vanja%20Nickovic-%20%20The%20problem%20of%20using....pdf
5. http://www.nbcnews.com/id/16044093/ns/business-consumer_news/t/stay-connected-best-cell-phones-children/#.Ukb-3-9lkeU
6. http://www.lse.ac.uk/media@lse/research/EUKidsOnline/EU%20Kids%20I%20%282006-9%29/Conference%20Papers%20and%20abstracts/Emerging%20Issues/Findahl.pdf
7. http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Articles/early_childhood/e10.pdf
8. http://www.rollercoaster.ie/Article/tabid/156/ArticleName/Temper_Tantrums/Default.aspx
9. http://www.perfectingparenthood.com/content/punishment-without-psychological-damage-essential-tool-parents
10. http://www.unicef.org/cwc/files/CwC_Web%282%29.pdf
11. http://www.arts.monash.edu.au/mai/staff/--downloads/cpsn-report.pdf
12. http://www.writing-world.com/children/stages.shtml
18.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/toni-nagy/life-lessons-learned-from-my-toddler_b_3281279.html
